so i dont really know how to start this blog. im honestly, speechless. i feel like i have so many thoughts running through my head that there is no way to get across what im feeling. so for most of you, this will not make sense...but after all arent blogs for venting???...
as of today, i am done. i am done with my past, i am done with fake people, i am done. ive tried way too long and way too hard. i have never felt so betrayed by so many people. this may step on some peoples toes, but im sorry....youve stepped on mine long enough...apparently there is a barrier between chattanooga and jefferson city. its funny how phone calls, texts, facebook comments, emails, letters, and funny enough, friends seem to not be allowed past this certain point. i try to keep in contact with people from home, and in return, i get run over. people say, "well we just move on in life" or whatever other excuses you can come up with. im done with excuses. for once just admit your fault.
it seems so easy for people to go long periods of time without talking to me from home. i wish there was some way for me to repay this feeling to you, quite honestly. i am so numb to the pain of friendships its not even funny. im at the point now where i wish i could just pack up all my belongings and move to some foreign country, you wouldnt care! dont interpret this to be some depressing, saddened, or upset blog.....dont get me wrong. im so glad to have realized that if you dont feel you need me in your life, by all means, let me step right out of it.
ive learned lately walking alone seems to make the path easier. when someone else falls, you try your hardest to help them up. but the second you trip, or fall flat on your face, you get up to realize there is no one there. so it boils down to walking alone, and fending for yourself; or walking with a "friend" only to be left behind. so im done, this monkey is off my back.
its time for you to step up. even if this doesnt apply to you, you should consider the friends in your life, the FAMILY in your life, if indeed you have any...for petes sake pick up the phone. dont text, dont email, dont facebook, call. sometimes people like to feel important and needed.
walking alone.
I don't know exactly what you're dealing with, but I can relate. I went to college just a couple of hours away from home but it seemed like the other side of the world sometimes. It's amazing how relationships change during that time. But one thing I realize now (after moving several more times) is that the "keeper" friends will always have a way of coming back into your life, and the periods you were apart somehow don't really matter anymore. The ones who aren't worth it, you might not even remember their names in a few years (or you might at least be glad to be done with them).
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I NEVER call people. Seriously. I used to, before e-mail, IM, facebook, etc. But I think those things made me socially retarded and afraid of dialing people (other than my mom & John). So just because someone "writes it on your wall" doesn't necessarily mean they mean it any less. How could they not love Mr. Drew?